Wendy’s New Challenges, New Commitments for 2009

My book “Break to Dawn: New Challenges, New Commitments” is the inspiration for this article. As we start another year, I would like to reflect and share three areas of my challenges and commitments for 2009.

01 | Marriage – love and romance with my Husband

Challenge: Two weeks after our honeymoon, my mental picture of “husbands are bad, they cheat on wives and cannot be trusted” hijacked me. I knew I had a trust issue due to past experiences, but it became so bad after I got re-married in Sep ’08 that I had nightmares of being abandoned by my husband. Before marriage, Matt was “my partner”. After we got married, he became “my husband” and subconsciously, my negative beliefs about husbands hit me hard. And for two days, I was neurotic and was questioning his every move. Being a coach, I knew it was time I took action to shake my beliefs and reframe them. The problem was not my husband (who is devoted to me). The problem was my mind, and the person to change was me.

Commitment: With my Husband (still getting used to this term), I am committed to creating love and romance, to be open with my conflicts and desires, and to work through our arguments. We will go on a holiday without our children to celebrate our anniversary. I promise to hear his plans for our house, and his ideas about work.

02 | Parenting – Two teenage sons, a 10-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old step-daughter

Challenge: I look too young to have two tall, strapping young men as my sons! (Alright, that is not really a challenge, but a blessing). Nevertheless, with teens, there is no planning for crises. They just come and I will meet those crises early.

Parenting a step-daughter is a new experience. It is no longer just my own rules and discipline style, as my Husband has his own rules and discipline style (and his former wife has a different style again). It is therefore about blending, adjusting, and compensating.

As a working mom, there is the challenge of managing time, traveling for work, and being there for my kids.

Commitment: Have my regular one-on-one dates with each of my four kids, fulfilling their need for attention. I will support Brandon in his baking hobby (and business venture), Lorren in his transition into Secondary school, Nicole in her art (she has been selected to participate in the Singapore Youth Festival), and Ella in her first year at primary school.

03 | Wand Inspiration – our 2009 theme is “Resilience, Relationship, Results”

Challenge: My stretch goal this year is to research and write a book on resilience in love and romance. I have written on Multiple Intelligences, and on Resilience for young adults, so venturing into love and romance is something new for me.

The qualitative data for the book will come from coaching and interviewing at least ten individuals (singles and married) on their relationship history, current goals and their progress in creating love and romance. The book will be based on their real-life experiences – exploring how we can bounce back from heart-breaks, face our blind spots and baggages, become aware of our strengths and weaknesses, and make the effort for love and romance, regardless if you are married or single, with or without children.

Commitment: We are having three public workshops this year. One for corporate on “Coaching for Resilience”, one for parents on “Coaching Your Child for Success” and one for the romantics on “Building Resilient Love”.

We will continue to serve our clients who are mainly in the Military, Banking and Finance, and the Ministry of Education. We will keep our costs low, so as not to increase our fees, while still delivering our expected excellence. We will give our time to serve the community in our pro-bono work.

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Thank you for your attention to three of my challenges and commitments for 2009.

What are yours?

By reflecting and declaring our commitments, we are more aware, disciplined and creative in keeping to them. I pray that you will be richly blessed in this new year, with wisdom, courage and love to make a difference.

Comments or questions regarding the above article, please e-mail to updates@wandinspiration.com